It came to my attention one evening while I was driving home from one of my two jobs, that I was nearly out of gas. I was actually playing with fire, seeing as the gas light came on just as I pulled out of the parking lot of the bar I work at. I was now about 15 minutes into my 25 minute drive home and praying I didn't run out of fuel. I started to think about how the sight of that little annoying light much resembles my life currently. I feel like I am always running on empty. Whether it's my actual gas tank or my physical and mental state.
I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter, a boyfriend, friends and family, two jobs, an apartment to upkeep, bills to pay and a car to maintain. My relationships are by far the most important to me, however all the less fantastic stuff often prevents me from nurturing said relationships. I work and work and work and try to pay all the bills and not get too run down but eventually it catches up to me. I know when I've pushed myself to the limits and I'm about to breakdown on the side of the highway. Its during those moments when I need to stop and re-fuel. Everyone has their own way of recharging and preparing to run the next 1000 miles. For me it's taking care of myself and my relationships. It could be ignoring the housework and spending the entire day being silly with my daughter. It has also been a much needed date night with my boyfriend, which we try to do at least once a month. Then there's those times when M might be with her dad and the boyfriend is catching up with friends and watching hockey. I then retreat to a friends house and spend time with them. While nurturing my relationships I in turn nurture myself. M, my boyfriend, and my friends and family are the ones who fill my tank. They fill my heart with love, comfort, laughter, joy, and a peacefulness in knowing they are what matters most and will always be there to remind me of that. They give me the energy and desire to keep going. Thats not to say I don't enjoy a night home alone painting my nails and watching Sex and the City reruns. It all keeps me sane.
I've definitly learned a lot about myself and what makes me happy and what I don't I've learned when to say no to picking up an extra shift, I've chosen spending a day with M over going to work, I've discovered the things that cause me to feel overwhelmed and running on empty. Recognizing when I need to pull over and refuel is key to not burning myself out.
How do you handle stress? What fills your tank?
