I am thankful

As we are in the midst of Thanksgiving weekend I find no better time than the present to write about what this holiday means to me.

Thanksgiving has always been my favourite holiday. It was never about getting presents or spending money. It was simply about getting together with family and taking a moment to be thankful for what we have.

When this holiday approaches I always start to take a mental inventory of all that I'm thankful for. It may be some of the smallest things or gestures but at the end of the day those mean the most. I think its so important to take a step back and look at your life and take a minute to be grateful for all the amazing blessings you have.

I feel so blessed to be where I am today. I have been blessed with a healthy, gorgeous, smart and hilariously funny daughter who enriches my life everyday and makes me strive to be a better human being. She is crazy silly like her mama and a little sassy like her aunt Bee. She makes my heart smile and I would never trade this life with her for anything. I may never have thought I'd be a mom but I am so glad that I am. It's an honour to be along side M for her journey through life.

I am thankful for my family. My mom is my strength when I don't think I can handle what life throws at me. She keeps me grounded and has helped me grow into the woman I am today. She calms my irrational fears and loves me unconditionally. She loves my soul, my outgoing personality and my every accomplishment. My dad, even though he isn’t here with me anymore I am thankful that he shared his life with my mom and I am a product of their love. I am blessed to have shared 6 years of my life with him and that for those 6 years he worked hard to give his little girl the best life possible. My sister reminds me that I am setting an example, even as we get older, she looks up to me and therefore my every move is being closely watched. This may seems like a drawback and something that I would dread instead of considering it a blessing. However, knowing she is watching me makes me strive to be the best big sister I can be, the best person I can be. I am thankful to have someone who knows me like no other and always has my back. I am thankful for my second mom and cousin, Cheryl.  I am thankful that she made the decision, so many years ago, to help my mom raise my sister and I. She put her life on hold for us and I don't think I would be where I am now if it wasn't for her encouragement and guidance. Even though in the heat of the moment I never think to follow her advice I usually end up coming back to her, sometimes years later, and saying 'You were right'. She gives guidance and advice even when it might seem like it goes in one ear and out the other but her words leave marks on my heart and I carry them with me through life.

I am thankful for my boyfriend, Jamie. He loves me like I've never been loved before. . I am thankful that I was able to find love again and that this love is like no other. I am thankful that he is a hardworking man who puts his family first. He would do anything for M and I. He respects me and loves all of my quirky idiosyncrasies. I am thankful for how he makes me feel and for everything he is.

I am thankful for my cousin Benjamin. He was, is and always will be my little buddy. He is in the military and it breaks my heart that he could have to go fight for our country one day. However, he makes me feel so proud to be part of his family and part of this country.

I am thankful for my beautiful friends. I think at this point in my life I have the most perfect selection of good, true friends. They are amazing people and all so very different from one another. Each one of them offers something to our friendship that is special. I may not say it all the often but to each and every one of you who read this I am so thankful and blessed to be your friend. We have laughed til we cried, cried until we had no choice but to laugh, been silly, drank too much wine, and dropped everything and just be there for each other. We have gone months without talking and when we see each other it is like no time has past. I love you all with everything I have. You are what recharges me and keeps me going. Thank you!

I am thankful for everything that has to do with my job. I don't feel like I have just a job but rather a career. I love what I do. I love the law. I believe it is the fundamentals of society. I love the dynamic of people I work with. My boss is such a smart and knowledgeable lawyer that I feel honoured to be working with him and learning from him. I am so blessed to have a job in the field I went to school for. I am blessed that I am executing everything I learnt in school. I am grateful that I had wonderful teachers who, while putting up with me is no small feat, they were always there to help and guide my work in the right direction.  I strongly believe that I wouldn't be able to do my job without my teachers extra support. I am thankful when I get the late evening return phone call from Mrs. B that calms my fears and reassures me. I am thankful when I call Mrs. S at school I know she has no problem helping me figure out a small claims blunder. They are amazing women and I will never forget them and all they did for us crazy, loud and eager Law Clerk students.

I am thankful for my home. I may not have the most extravagant and flashy home but it's comfy and cozy, warm and strong and I couldn't ask for much more. It comforts me when I'm sad and lifts me up when the world had kicked the crap out of me and I need to refocus and regenerate. I am blessed to live where I live.

For my extended family. We are all a little quirky and I could probably write a book about our crazy dynamic and make a small fortune from it but I wouldn't trade them for anything!

For my grandparents. Over 50 years ago their love brought them to Canada and started a family, our family. Their courage and strength is the reason why I am here today and have the quality of life I have now.

 I am thankful for the food I put on the table every night for my family.

For Keeping up with the Kardashians, yes I am thankful for this. It is my escape from reality and reminds me that no matter how much money you have you can still have your fair share of problems.

For The Notebook, it is always there for me when I need a good cry (p.s I watched this last night and balled like a baby)

I am thankful for country music (and music in general). It speaks to every scenario I have ever been in. It gives me peace and joy and truly makes me happy. Music can get you pumped up for the day ahead or whind you down for the night. It can make you cry and laugh, dance and be silly. It can ignite your soul and breathe life into you.

I am thankful for Education and for the people who dedicate their lives to teaching.

For literature, while I don’t read books on the regular I am grateful that people have poured their entire being into writing just to bring some kind of emotion out in us. Whether it's fiction or not, people took the time to put a pen to paper and share their story with us. Books bring us information we never knew and build our character. It’s magical and something I think we take for granted.

For this blog. It started out as something completely different from what it is now. I am grateful that I have somewhere to pour my heart out and know that it is appreciated on some level. When I don't have the desire to talk about my thoughts, I take to writing. It keeps me sane and as I've said before it is like therapy to me. I am thankful I have the means to write and that it's something I will always have in my life.

I am thankful for my health and that I can wake up every day and breathe!

For aviation. Yes, this is a strange thing to be thankful for but it brings me my dearest family from B.C to Ontario and their presence brings me so much happiness and comfort. It connects miss M to her grandmother in Nova Scotia and it can take us to places beyond our wildest dreams. One day when I get to Paris and am standing at the top of the Eiffel tower and I will toast the Wright brothers because without them I would never get to live out my dreams of going to that magical city.

Needless to say I am thankful for a lot. I love my life and every person and thing in it. This Thanksgiving I will bow my head and close my eyes and thank God for all that is good in my life. From the simplest and silliest things to the most important and crucial parts of my day to day life. I will be thankful because I am truly blessed by Him.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

XO
Amber

Family Fun This Fall

I'll let you in on a little secret.... I'm obsessed with Fall!

I love everything this season has to offer. From the fashion to the falling leaves to the crisp cool air. I love it all!

It also has me feeling anxious to make the best of the few months that I have with this love of mine!

I am always trying to find fun and fairly cheap things to do any season but this fall I feel even more motivated to get out and enjoy every weekend. I will be the first to admit that entertaining a 5 year old is no small feat, especially entertaining her on a budget. SO, I've been doing some research online and brainstorming how to make the most of our weekends together this fall. I'm sharing this list of family fun activities because I know there are other mamas out there wanting to join hands with their little ones and make some memories.

1) Pumpkin Patch

This is an obvious one. Usually when I think pumpkin patch my wallet starts to weep uncontrollably. It can get quite expensive, especially if you have more than one child. Most of you who have attended Howell's Pumpkin Patch know this to be true. For years now I have been searching for a pumpkin patch that I used to visit as a child. I finally stumbled upon it on the world wide web and am so thankful I did. Bry-anne Farms is located in Fenwick, ON. I have so many fond memories from my trips there. I called them up and was eager to get details about their pumpkin season. The lady on the phone explained that their pumpkin patch is open October 1st. There is a fee of $6.00 to enter and that includes all the activities they have to offer such as: hay rides, corn mazes, pumpkin putt and the straw play zone. No extra tickets to buy, no long waits, and the bonus.... you can re-use your ticket to come back another time for free! If you are

For directions and more info, click here!

2) White Meadow Farms

This is another fond memory of mine. Come February you can take a tour and see the maple production in full swing but until then there is PANCAKE WEEKENDS! The menu is a variety of maple infused treats and of course pancakes. It is great place to bring your kids because you can literally order just one pancake at a time for those tiny tummies and picky eaters out there. The best part is the fresh-from-the-tree maple syrup!

For the full menu and more info. click here!

3) Nature Walk/Scavenger Hunt

Like I said earlier one of the best parts of fall is the weather. It is really the perfect time of year for hiking and being outdoors. One way to make this more engaging for your children is to make a simple scavenger hunt. Make a list of things you'd find in nature. It could be season specific or more geared towards sensory development such as " Find something rough" or "Find a smooth rock". If you have a few children then make it a race and the winner gets a prize or gets to pick what movie to watch when you get home!

Check out Pinterest for scavenger hunt list ideas!

4) Crafts

I am a Pinterest nut! I mean I know there are a lot of people with more pins than myself but I do spend a significant amount of time browsing this website. I typed in fall activities for kids and a whole lot of craft ideas popped up.

This one particularly struck my fancy. It's a great way to get your kids making Halloween crafts but with a sentimental value that will keep you mamas happy!

For more fall craft ideas click here ---> A Little Craft in Your Day (Blog)

5) Leaf piles

This one is a good one because it is so fun for kids and helps get the yard tidied up which makes us adults happy. When I think of good old fashioned fun this activity definitely comes to mind. Who knew the possible memories that could be made from simply raking leaves in a pile and jumping into them?

6) Baking

Fall is the best season for baking because turning on the oven in the fall and winter months is less of a burden due to the cooler weather. You won't be melting in your house while you bake up a storm.

I love baking, I prefer it over cooking any day. I am also a lover of cupcake creations. I've made a few great holiday themed cupcakes in the past years and the fall season is so fun for this activity. M is always eager to help make cupcakes and decorate them. Again if you Pinterest 'fall cupcake ideas' you will more than likely end up with a lot of pumpkin flavoured treats. However, if pumpkin isn't your thing then think caramel or maple flavor. Either way when a rainy fall day comes your way take to the kitchen to whip up a fun treat with your little ones. While the goodies bake, pick out a movie for the family and snuggle up while you wait to taste heaven. Pick up some Halloween candy like my fave, Candy Corn, and go to town decorating.

For this cupcake I used chocolate frosting and dipped the cupcake into Oreo baking crumbs to make this spider look fuzzy.
Legs: I then took broken pieces of Twizzlers and stuck them in the cupcake for the spiders legs.
Fangs: I used candy corn and cut them in half to make the spiders fangs.
Eyes: Two dots of red gel icing.

Hope you make the most of this fun fall season!

 

XO

Amber

 

 

 

 

Crazy little thing called LOVE

This post is a long time coming.

I've wanted to talk about this for a while now and finally have the time to do so. Even if I get zero readers on this post I still want to share it because I've been wanting to write it all out for my own benefit. Consider this blog page, if you will, like the story of my life and this is the missing chapter. So read on if you wish or not if you don't (but I hope you will).

If any of you have followed my blog from the beginning you will be severely confused about my relationship status. I'm about to clear that all up. It also became apparent to me that, aside from some complete strangers, some friends of mine whom I cherish but may not interact with all that often have little knowledge of my journey to where I am now. I don't think that the lack of knowing what happened in my life is keeping them up at night but it's an interesting story to tell and to read. So here goes nothing!

Let's begin just over 2 years ago. It seems like yesterday, as cliché as that is to say, but it really does. Time flies! I had just started working as a waitress at a local bar and restaurant. I was still engaged to M's dad, my now ex, and I was trying to be happy. At least I wanted it to look like I was happy. However, I hadn't been 100% happy for a very long time. Granted there were a lot of really great moments but just not enough to justify staying in that relationship. I had been seriously contemplating the idea of separating from him for roughly 6 months. It was a scary thought. I had been with him since I was 18. As hard as life was with him I couldn't imagine life without him and that statement was probably what kept me from leaving for years. I had a child with this man I had to as least try to keep us together. In my mind I thought he ought to have known that I wasn't happy. That things in our relationship needed to be fixed. Upon breaking the devastating news to him that I was done with our relationship it became apparent to me that he was clueless to my misery. There were final straws that occurred and that shook me to my core (all of which I will not share for they are unnecessary to exploit). He claimed I didn't try hard enough and I just gave up on us but I knew in my heart I had been trying since before our daughter was born. Every damn day I tried. I am not a quitter. I will push til I can't push anymore.

In January/ February of the year that I ended my relationship a close friend of mine knew of my struggles and suggested I take to writing to explain my emotions. I have always written. It's like therapy for me. I think that if you can see your problems staring back at you in black and white they seem to make more sense. My friend, let's call her Mrs. F, wanted me to do two things. Write her a letter, explaining my feelings and struggles, that she would never show any other soul, EVER (well perhaps with the exception of her loving husband). Secondly, write a list of 100 things I seek in my ideal partner. I wrote these two things with the most honesty that I've ever shared with anyone about my relationship. I emailed them to her and her response, specifically to my letter, was tears. She confided to me that she couldn't help but weep at the sight of my sadness staring at her through her computer screen. Perhaps she knew I deserved happiness and was saddened that my words to her were anything but happy. Perhaps she was astonished that I had been living this life without taking into consideration my happiness at all. My top 100 list was, on the other hand, kind of fun to write. It got a little ridiculous and I probably sounded really picky but it was a good therapy for me. When I read the list back to myself I realized that my current spouse didn't meet nearly any of the qualities or traits I wanted in a partner. I think I made a portion of the list based on things that I was unhappy with in my partner and put the opposite of those things on the list. Let's put it this way, I may not have known exactly what I wanted in a man but I knew what I didn't want. It was an eye opening exercise but it still took me 3 months to confront my fiancé and tell him I was done.

Back to my time spent working at the bar. Prior to getting this job I had the silliest thought that since I had been with my ex for so long and had a baby and in my mind was 'used goods' that no one could possibly love me or let alone think I was attractive. I have stretch marks from having M, I have emotional wounds that could easily be triggered by someone else acting in similar ways as my fiancé, and I would eventually have a difficult ex fiancé to contend with. Who would want to get involved with this girl? Being in the bar and dealing with the locals allowed me to come into my own. For those of you who have worked in a bar you can relate. For those of you who haven't had this experience think of it as the moment in your 20's when you find yourself and are figuring out who you really are. I lost all shyness, I came out of my shell, and it became second nature to strike up and carry on a conversation with anyone. I ended up having a great rapport with the regulars. It literally took being around people who would compliment me, praise my efforts, flirt with me, and laugh at my jokes to see that I had a lot to offer someone. I was pretty, sexy, funny, smart, a quick thinker, quick witted, easy to get a long with and it wasn't long before one man imparticular caught on to my awesomeness (hehe). I became friends with one of the cooks at the bar. He was in his early thirties, sexy, tattooed, funny, flirty, hard working (this bar gig was his second job), had his shit together and I was so attracted to all of this. He had just broken up with his girlfriend of 4 years and so we we're both in similar places in our lives. I had been working at the bar for a few months prior to my breakup so the people I worked with became witness to the breakdown of my relationship and were there for me. The innocent flirting that had happened between me and this guy, Jamie, began to get more intense after I ended my engagement and was single (I'm a flirt by nature, I think it runs in my family). My ex had been the only man I had ever been with and I had spent the past 7 years with him so I wasn't looking to be in a relationship right away but rather just have fun and be Amber for a while. The more time I spent with Jamie the more I liked about him. We had talked about relationships in general and we had the same idea of what we wanted in a relationship if ever we chose to dive into one. He had two kids, now teenagers, from a high school romance and didn't want more kids, neither did I. He had been married before and didn't think he'd ever want to go down that path again, neither did I. Aside from what we had in common, spending time with him made me forget about the separation drama between my ex and I. I felt like a giddy school girl. I felt butterflies, I felt wanted, I felt attractive, I felt happy. I didn't think a relationship would form from this because we both were very adamant that we weren't interested.  I didn't push anything. I was okay with whatever he wanted out of this, whatever THIS was. We hung out all the time. He texted me all the time. It even became noticeable to fellow employees that there was something going on between us. However, I was kind of just feeling him out. I based my emotions on his actions and his words. I tried to act like a guy and not care, but secretly I wanted him. All of him. I wanted to be the one he calls first thing in the morning and the one he talks to before he goes to sleep at night. I wanted to be the only thing he thought about and according to his cute text messages to me I was all he thought about, all he wanted, all day, everyday. Then it happened, somewhere along the way we went from being friends to being a couple.

I remember being in my new apartment, which I affectionately called 'the bachelorette pad'. We were laying on my bed together. At that moment I looked up at him and the words 'I like you' came out of my mouth, clearly without my consent. My heart began talking and my head was taking a back seat. It was the truth. I did like him. At this point I liked him a lot and I let him know it. I didn't want to ruin a great friendship but I didn't want to forever wonder 'what if?'.

What if we made this thing official? 

What if we became boyfriend/girlfriend?

What if we didn't?

He kissed me, then told me he liked me too, liked me a lot actually. I now joke to him that he used to say 'don't come to me in 2 months, go all crazy and tell me your madly in love with me' and then he ended up being the one who fell head over heels for me.  We talked about becoming more to each other. We weighed the situation and gave it serious thought. We liked the way things were. Would putting a label on it change our dynamic? Well a hop, skip, and a week later we were officially girlfriend and boyfriend. The risk was totally worth it! The first time he introduced me to someone as his 'girlfriend' felt amazing. I was his. I was happy, for the first time in what seemed like forever. M took to him extremely well and he loved her almost immediately. Everything was perfect. He was perfect. We were perfect.

Now we are approaching our 2 year anniversary in a few weeks. It's amazing how fast the past two years have gone by. I would say that we are just as happy and in love as we were from the beginning. We have been living together for over a year and half in a home he bought with M and I in mind. Of course there was an adjustment period but for the most part day to day life here in our home goes smoothly. M and Jamie are the best of friends. His one son and M call each other brother and sister. Their love for each other makes my heart smile everyday. We get along with each other's families and we still look forward to coming home to each other at the end of the day. I still get butterflies, especially on date night, I catch him staring at me just 'cause, and he can still make me melt when he kisses me. Oh and that top 100 list? He consistently meets 97 out of 100 of those 'must haves'. What is he lacking? Well him being only 3 inches taller than me means I can't wear my beloved high heels on a night out with him but I'm coping, it comes with the territory of being a tall woman. I say he's perfect, that we're perfect together. Granted he does have his flaws, who doesn't? At the end of the day he is everything I seek in a partner, so to me he's perfect -perfect for me.

I would never have thought I would be where I am today. I get asked a lot if we will ever get married. For me it's not a necessity but it's not off the table. I'm just happy where we are, happy being in this crazy little thing called love.

XO
Amber

The bedtime battle

Those of you who are close to me and miss M you will know that bedtime at our house is a nightly struggle and have been a struggle since we made the transition from crib to big girl bed. My baby just turned 5 this past week. It's been a solid 3 years since she said goodbye to her crib and starting making bedtime a nightmare.

From the first week I brought M home I quickly established a bedtime routine. She was bathed, massaged with cream, and rocked until her eyelids began to flutter sleepily. Then I would gently place her in her crib, all snug as a bug, and she would fall peacefully asleep. When she became a few months older I continued the bedtime routine except she'd very often wake up after I tried to place her in bed and proceed to cry for up to an hour. I waited until 6 months before I adopted the 'cry it out' method. I felt guilty at times but for the most part I would simply leave the room, wait it out, and eventually she stopped within 15 min of being put to bed. For a good  year and a half this became the norm. Some nights she was so sleepy that she didn't even put up a fight but usually she maintained crying it out.

The real battle began when I decided it was time for the big girl bed transition. Now she was free. She wasn't held captive by her crib and could roam around her room crying and fighting sleep. She'd bang on the door (doorknobs weren't her forte then). She rarely gave up without a good long fight and it usually ended in me literally rocking her to sleep until she was snoring (yes my child snores like a grown man). Then the day came when she discovered how to open doors. There was no stopping her escaping her room. If she didn't want to go to bed then she'd just come out of her room. I tried every method out there for successful bedtimes. I even followed the "Super Nanny' techniques. It became exhausting. At the end of a long day all any parent wants is at least 1-2 hours of quiet grown up time to relax before we tuck ourselves into bed. I wish I could say that there was this epic turning point where things just magically got better. As if the bedtime battle was just an over extended phase of childhood that she outgrew and she now puts herself to bed. What a dream that would be.

Like I said previously she is now 5 years old and tests her mama's patience every night. I try to keep some of the old bedtime routine in place but life can get in the way. However, she knows when I say it's PJ time that my next words are: 'it's quiet time, let's start getting relaxed and ready for bed'. Then we brush teeth, perhaps read a book, and she is allowed to watch 1/2 an hour of tv in her room. I know some might say the tv is the culprit but tv wasn't a part of her room setup until we moved in with my boyfriend nearly 2 years ago. He said it helped his boys when they were young and I was so desperate I'd try anything. Granted I think it does keep her alert for a bit longer than normal but for the most part she falls asleep. Right, she falls asleep, AFTER she has come upstairs from her room 15-100 times. The other night I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and as soon as I heard 'mommy' echoing up the stairs I quickly whispered to him to tell her I was asleep. He did and she went back to bed and stayed there. The biggest annoyance is that M constantly says 'I have to tell you something'. She uses this line all.the.time. It is her filler for when she doesn't want to do something so she can waste some time. She knows I love having real conversations with her. I used to say 'can I talk to you?' and we'd engage in a talk about whatever was important at that time. I've always encouraged her to speak to me and not be afraid to tell me anything. I love talking with my daughter. BUT, this is just a coy way of wasting time. I will respond with 'what?' and then she sits there and thinks which is usually followed by umm umm umm......I love you or I miss my gramma or I'm hungry or I'm thirsty. Not that I don't love hearing that she loves me or that I'm not concerned that she will starve in her sleep but  I am her mother and I know that saying I love you for the 20th time that night or eating a huge dinner and dessert which makes it difficult to be hungry at 9 o'clock at night is just a sly way of getting me to let her stay up. She wants to stay up, she wants to tug at my heart strings to let her stay up. She's amazingly good at it too. She knows mom's weak spot.  Kids are not stupid!! They are the smartest tiny little people ever!

I know my struggle will end one day, and by one day I mean when she's a teenager. So for now I fully enjoy the nights when she's having a sleepover at her dad's or gramma's because it's one less night I have to spend fighting for her to go to bed (dad and gramma mysteriously don't have any of these same problems when they put her to bed). My one mommy friend is having the same struggle with her little girl as I did with M. I wish I could say it gets better but if she has an M on her hands I can't guarantee anything. Just continue on with a hope and a prayer that you will make it through and laugh about it one day when our babies have babies and they are going through the same thing. Hey, what goes around comes around so LOOK OUT M!

XO
Amber

Content may be offensive to adults

Saturday night was the usual relaxing on our big comfy couch watching TV. One good thing about Saturday night broadcasting is that they play a lot of movies. The boyfriend was in control of the remote and when he came across a movie called 'The Haunting in Connecticut' he decided to tune in. Apparently he had seen this movie years ago and claimed it was 'good'. It was, as the title suggests, a horror movie.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I HATE scary movies. Intense movies in general tend to have a dramatic affect on my body. I'll expand on that. I get very emotionally involved and invested in a movie. I feel what the characters feel, I get overwhelmed with the intensity of the situation. I just get too into it. Even the lamest of lame scary movies can force me to cover my eyes and curl into a ball tightly clinging to my boyfriend.

Following the commercial break the viewer discretion warning was displayed. It isn't uncommon to see this prior to many shows and movies on TV these days. Anyone and everyone can get their panties in a bunch over the silliest viewing content. You just never know who you can offend. I usually think that it's just an over exaggerated precaution put there for legality sake. However, last night the viewer discretion was put there for people like myself. I can say with 100% conviction that this movie was offensive to adults like myself.  Offensive in the fact that I knew I wasn't going to sleep well and I needed a good sleep. Offensive in that it was unnecessarily gruesome and terrifying. Offensive because it dealt with a child would was killed in a horrible fashion. Granted it was a really good scary movie but I was just too scared. I recall at one point I literally felt numbness in my legs. Like all the blood had rushed out of me (this is what I mean when I say I get too involved). It was intense for me.

All in all I made it through the movie with only one loud scream at the top of my lungs and I didn't spill my drink (throwback to when I watched 'Mama' and my Bacardi Breezer ended up on me, the couch, and the wall behind me. This resulted in a new rule my boyfriend put in place for when I watch horror films - placing my drink on the table for the duration of the movie). With that said I think I still would have been happier watching Sex and the City but 'somebody' thinks it's the worst show on television.

What is the scariest movie you've watched? Scary movies -love 'em or hate 'em?

XO
Amber

You catch more bees with honey.

My last post was June 16th 2013. I nearly don't believe that it's been a year and a day since I last wrote a blog post. However, the proof if in the pudding folks.

Onward with blogging.

My mom is a very wise woman. Most of how I learnt to deal with life's hiccups came from her. She may rely on silly little sayings to cheer me up when I'm down on my luck but for some reason these sayings have a big impact on me. The title of this blog is one of her catch phrases. I use it all the time because it speaks the truth. You really do catch more bees with honey. If you are kind and pleasant in the way that you speak you will get better results from those around you. Granted in the right circumstances being firm, speaking with clarity and using less sugar coating can get the job done too but for the most part being nice gets you a long way.

I am a person whose mood is a reflection of those around me. If you are miserable my subconscious automatically adopts the 'if you can't beat em' join em' ' approach. Its just the nature of this beast. I can only try so hard to boost your spirits until my spirits are exhausted and just lay down and die with yours.

This brings me to my moms next catch phrase: 'When life hands you lemons....'. I don't finish that sentence often because people have their own versions (i.e make lemonade, grab the salt and tequila etc.) but you get the drift. Nothing in day to day life troubles is that horrific that you can't turn it around and put a positive spin on it.

Money troubles? My mom always says 'as long as you're working you always have money coming in'. So don't worry just know that you are doing everything you can to make things better.

Significant other drama? Mom always made sure that I remembered to 'never go to bed angry'. The relationship problem may not be resolved but at least say you love each other before bed because you never know what could happen.

When life side swipes you, my mom comforted me and would say 'you need to pick yourself up, dust your self off, and start over'.

Simply saying these phrases to me doesn't make my problems vanish but it does bring comfort. Comfort in knowing that these phrases have been said for years and must have been created based on people with similar problems and in similar situations.

When life gets you down you just need to remember that you aren't alone. 'Everyone is in the same boat.'

XO
Amber